Real Life Stories Of Parents of Gays

These are real stories from us as parents of lesbian and gay children describing our experiences and feelings about discovering our child's sexuality. There are also two stories from a gay person's perspective.

We also have a video of parents taking about when they were told they have a lesbian or gay child.

Adrian's Story (Gay person)

As a child I remember feeling instinctively that I was different from other boys. In my teens, when my friends started dating girls, I wanted to do the same, but it just didn't feel right. I felt awkward and inferior. I had often heard insults like "queer" and "pansy", but it was not until I knew what the words meant, that I realised that they described me - I was Gay...
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Christine's Story (Parent of a gay child)

When our only son announced, at the age of thirty, that he was Gay, I did not know very much about homosexuality. I had been aware that Adrian was holding something back from me. But the very last thing that I was expecting was for him to tell his father and me that he was homosexual. Although confused and struggling to accept what he was telling us, I was relieved that he was not ill or involved in some kind of trouble. But my world had been shaken hard and turned upside down...
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Howard's Story (Gay person)

I wish to introduce myself. My name is Howard Lawrenson and I am 27 years old. I am originally from Warrington but now live in Manchester with my partner Paul. In the following account of my life I have tried to express some of the joys, some of the difficult times and what were often very emotional times in my life....
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Inga's Story (Parent of a gay child)

It is more than 20 years since I learned that my son John is gay. He told both his father and me when he was a 16-year-old schoolboy, and that was the day that changed my life. Neither my husband nor myself had the slightest idea. He’d been through all the normal stages of a boy’s life, just like his brother who is 14 months older. I suppose we took it for granted that they would both find girl friends, get married and have children. Homosexuality was something we knew nothing about, and something we never expected would touch our lives...
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Lois' Story (Parent of a gay child)

Our son, Joe, was 16 when he came out to us. The previous weekend we had been shopping in Manchester and had watched the Manchester Pride Parade. His dad and I had suspected that he was gay for about 2 years prior to that and had tried to broach the subject on several occasions. However, watching his reaction to the parade confirmed in my mind we were right and, several days later, he confirmed the fact himself...
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Janet's Story (Parent of a gay child)

My son was born in 1992. He is my first child and has always been a happy, sociable person. In 1996 we had a daughter and both children have always got along well. Although we would find our son playing with his sister’s Barbie dolls on his own, it never occurred to us to worry about this. He showed an aptitude for acting and drama from a very early age and much of the play seemed to involve role play especially when the Action Men were drafted in too...
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Margaret's Story (Parent of a gay child)

My partner and I became involved with Manchester Parents Group when her 26 year old daughter came out to us. Many of our friends couldn’t understand why this should upset us so much as we are in a gay relationship and have been for the last 30 years. We blamed ourselves because of our lifestyle and the fact that our friends were mainly gay couples...
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Pam's Story (Parent of a gay child)

Our son said to us one evening, when he was 16 yrs old 'I think I might be gay.' We were taken by surprise, but realised that it had taken a lot of courage for him to tell us. Lots of emotions were being felt, most predominately, fear that he would come up against a lot of prejudice. We talked to him to assure him that if he was gay we would support him in any way we could...
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